


Posters

by IntrovertedWife



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Awkward Cullen Rutherford, Fun, Gen, Humorous Ending, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-30 11:36:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18314543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IntrovertedWife/pseuds/IntrovertedWife
Summary: A little bit of fun in honor of the day. Cullen walks across a trio of posters you have to see to believe.





	Posters

__

_*Cullen walks past the posters*_

_*Turns to discover his head cut out and pasted atop numerous shirtless men*_

**Cullen** : Sera!

* * *

**Cullen** : Explain.

 **Sera** : What’s got your knob in a knot? _*looks at poster he tore down* *snickers loud enough snort*_ Wha’? That ain’t my doing, Captain Jackboot. The Inquisitor won’t let me have scissors anymore.

 **Cullen** : _*growls*_ Dorian.

 **Sera** : Can I keep this?

 **Cullen** : No!

* * *

**Cullen** : Explain!

 **Dorian** : _*examines closely the tattered poster covered in raspberry jam courtesy of Sera*_ Crafting inspiration for yourself after a winter of too many tiny cakes? Though, it does appear as if your robust counterpart skipped leg day.

 **Cullen** : _*draws close* *snarls*_ Dor-I-An!

 **Dorian** : Very well, and please refrain from spraying spittle across my ascot. It’s new. No, I am not the cause of your latest temper tantrum. The maiden clinging limply to a bruisers legs is hardly my idea of a fun time.

 **Cullen** :...

 **Cullen** : I don’t know who else it could be. _*walks away dejectedly*_

 **Dorian** : May I keep this?

 **Cullen** : N-! Actually, yes, I have no more use for it.

* * *

_*Cullen walks the battlements lost and confused* *He’s about to turn in for the night when he spots a candle burning in an abandoned room*_

_*Peering in through the window, he finds dozens of beefcake posters and a hand furiously cutting out paintings of Cullen’s face.*_

_*When the owner of the hand turns around, Cullen sighs*_

**Cullen** : Scout Jim. I should have known.


End file.
